1 post tagged “crush <3”

What do you do when you get a crush on someone?
Submitted by Desi.

              It's been such a long time, I've not yet found a man worthy of my affections......LOL. Anyway, if I happen to have a "crush" on somebody (or be attracted to somebody), the first thing I do is try to fight it off, by looking for his worse assets and traits. I know it sounds weird (and harsh, maybe), but I have my reasons, LOL.
              I have so many other things to be focused on - and relationships/dating/marriage/family will be on my list eventually (and definitely), but right now...I have problems to overcome, maturity to nurture, and goals to reach. Luckily for me, I don't know anyone that I'd be willing to share my life with. My phone isn't ringing off the hook with offers either. A few years back, yes. I had a whole box of options. But I think when men see me they see the, "Don't bother me," look, and they respect that, LOL!
            And let me explain something, LOL. I don't do dating for fun, casual dating, dating just because I don't have anything to do on Friday night....Dang it I want a commitment! I want a relationship. I want a status. I don't want to be with you on Friday night, and then be with somebody else on Saturday night. I don't want to be with you on Friday night, and then see you with someone else on Saturday night! I don't want options, and I don't want to play the field.
            Some people say, "That's why your butt is still single!" LOL, well maybe it is the reason. My expectations for men and relationships is high. I plan to give my all. What will you be bringing to the table, sir? I say to those friends, "Well, that's why you got drama," because if their standards were a bit higher, they'd be a bit happier in their relationships. Excuse me if I don't want to take relationship advice from somebody who's been cheated on, lied to, and mistreated in just about all their relationships. Excuse the hell out of me. I'm not willing to throw my dignity and self respect on the line for the sake of being able to say, "I got a man." Up your standards already!
            Developing a "no strings attached" friendship is how I want to discover the man who is to become my husband. Through a friendship I get to see all that he is - not who he's trying to be. I want him to see me, not who I think he'd want me to be. If I start looking at his physical - which is the first thing you notice most of the time - the yeah, I'm going to develop a crush, if he looks good! Then all I'm going to see is the positive. I'll be so high in "crush bliss" that I won't allow myself to see this man for who he really is. I won't be able to see his temperament, and how he gets along with other people. I won't know the decisions he makes regarding mature matters. I won't know anything that will make or break a relationship with him. All I'll see is his gorgeous smile and his fine chocolate brown skin. All I'll hear is his smooth deep voice and his sexy laugh, (See I just described Morris Chestnut, LOL, and I don't know a thing about him!). I almost don't want to become friends with him. Because it's through friendship that you really get to know a person, and if I discover that he's not quite the person I thought he was, it's very disappointing. Crushes are so "sixth grade" to me. Attraction is what I'm striving for. To me, being attracted to a man requires for me to know him. Looking good and having a million dollar smile is enough to get me admit that you're handsome, sir; but as for me being attracted to you - you're gonna have to do more than flash your little pearly whites! I consider a man to be attractive based on the whole package - inside and out. But so many people only consider the "out," without even realizing it. Like I said, crushes are for little tykes - Attraction is far more deep, and I think I'd rather save my emotions for that; but when I'm ready.